Baggage

Just get over it.

Let it go.

Don't hold onto it anymore.

Leave it behind, move on.

There are about a million different variations on the same sentiment, the helpful idea we pass along to people coming out of a rough patch. At least, we hope it is helpful. But I think that the exact opposite is true.

We all have baggage, things that happened to us, things that we did, unpleasant places in our life that drag us down even though they are long over and done with. We carry that baggage with us always, it is attached to our backs like a lead weight. Some have heavier loads than others. I have seen people whose souls are nearly bent double carrying the load, and others who barely notice the weight.

Yet by and large our advice, our approach, our desire is to shed that baggage, to get over it, to move on, to let it go. As if we could forget that the bad time never happened. As if we could live without the after affects reverberating through our very being like ripples in a lake.

The only way to truly let it go, leave it behind, and 'get over it' is to get amnesia and forget it ever happened.

Our baggage is part of who we are. Our memories make us, the good and the bad. Every experience we have ever had affects us, and we cannot simply drop it by the wayside like a heavy backpack and move on without it. That just isn't possible. Our baggage comes with us where ever we go, no matter how long it has been, no matter how much we have recovered, that baggage is part of us, and we will always, always carry the load.

Our choice does not rest in leaving the baggage behind or taking it with us. Our choice rests in how we choose to carry the load, and who we choose to carry it with. Our choice about how to recover from the bad stuff is in our attitude coming out of it. Do you drag it behind you, an unwanted weight wearing down your arms, or do you strap it to your back, take possession of the pain, and set out anyway?

Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary, for I will give you rest. My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Did you notice that he didn't say there isn't a burden? Did you notice he didn't set us free from the yoke? No, we have to carry the burden. There is no other way to be ourselves but to carry our experiences with us. But there is a better way to carry the load, a way to go forward that is easier, lighter.

Jesus helps us in two ways. First, he carries the load with us. When we trust in Jesus we know that we are not alone, there is someone here, and if we ask him he will take part in the burden. After all, Jesus carried the heaviest burden of all, the cross. He's got strong arms. He can handle it.

The second way Jesus helps us carry the load is he helps us grow stronger. When we seek Jesus we learn that we have value, that we are able, that we have a purpose and a gift to share with the world. That knowledge helps us to grow stronger, to shoulder the burdens we have and learn how to carry them better. We take the experiences and learn from them. We never forget, we never drop the load, but we carry it a different way. We do not let it drag us into pity and despair but use it to fuel wisdom and prevent a repeat occurence.

So the next time you meet with someone who is groaning under the weight of a heavy burden, don't try to tell them to get rid of it or let it go. They cannot do the impossible. Instead, try to help them learn how to carry the load.