Newborns

My sister is going to have a baby soon. She's due in less than twenty days, and she's getting pretty big. I am getting more and more excited as the day draws near. Soon, I will get to meet my first nephew. I'll get to see him and hold him and help take care of him. I'll get to watch him grow up and see what sort of person he turns into.

It is amazing how much effort we put into babies. Baby showers are full of brightly wrapped presents, all for the little one. Baby blankets, bath toys, diapers, onsies and other cute clothing. We pull out all the stops for babies. We go out of our way to see them, we wait with all the anticipation of a child on Christmas Eve for the new little person to arrive in our lives.

We have no judgements or preconcieved notions about who or what the baby will be. We don't know if he'll be smart, funny, sassy, moody, outgoing or introverted. We are waiting to find that all out. We don't know what he will do when he is three, five, seven or twelve, but we wait to see with hoping hearts. We want all the best for the little guy, we want things to turn out well for him and will bend over backwards to to show him he is love, to help him have a happy, fulfilling life.

It is amazing how expectant families and friends welcome a new baby into the world. Yet all we are really doing is meeting a new person. Why can't we meet grown-ups with the same anticipatin and joy? What is so magical about being a baby?

Can you imagine how good it would feel if the next person you met marveled over you like your parents or aunts and uncles marveled over you as a baby? What if they gave you the same sort of attention, watched to see who you were with the same sort of happy anticipation? I know it would make me feel great, like I was walking on top of the world.

Yet none of us can remember when we recieved the special baby treatment. We can't remember being doted on, swaddled in pink or blue blankets, every need met when we simply opened our mouths to cry. Wouldn't it be nice if we could?

Not every baby is welcomed into the world. Sometimes, a baby is a nuisance, another mouth to feed, another worry, another trouble. These babies do not know love, do not learn love, and grow up differently because of it. We know it is wrong to treat a baby this way--babies need affection and attention and care.

Grown ups aren't really different from babies, though. We still need the same things. No, we don't need diaper changes or hourly feedings, but we still need to be loved, to be cuddled, to be appreciated for who we are no matter our skills or jobs.

We treat adults so differently from babies, even though everyone has the same needs. When we meet someone new we rarely have the same mindset when encoutnering a newborn. We watch warily, to find out if it is a person we will like or not, we pile up expectations and judgements based on clothing, job and mannerisms. We build a picture of the person in our minds before we really get to know them and see who they truly are. This creates tension, disagreement, hardship and heartache.

We let a baby define who they are and who they will be, we don't expect them to live up to our expectations but let them simply be a baby. Why can't we do the same with the rest of the population? How would attitudes change, how would people change, if you met them with the same expectant smile I will give my nephew sometime next month instead of the hurried, harried frown we often use? What if we met someone with no expectations, no pre-concieved notions, just let them be themselves?

So often I feel like I have to conform to a situation. I change my behavior, my dress and my attitude to fit in with the mood and the people around me. Sometimes it would be nice simply to be a blank slate again, without twenty-six years of assorted memories and experiences that shape how people see me and how they treat me. Sometimes, I just want the freedom to be me with no restrictions and no inhibitions.

If you crave that same feeling, remember to leave room for others. Cultivate space for people to breath, to be new and fresh every time you see them. When you meet someone new, take a step back away from your initial perceptions and just enjoy the fact that this is a new person, a new bundle of life who started out as a squaling, squriming newborn just like you. Make every meeting new.