I stand, arms stretched out, trying to keep track of three or four flying objects at once. Family is the great juggling act, and I drop the ball far more often than I should. Grandparents, siblings, parents, cousins, aunts and uncles. It is hard to give everyone the attention they deserve, make sure no one feels left out or under appreciated.
I stand in the center ring and run back and forth, catching balls and throwing them in the air again. Does anyone appreciate my crazy dance? Do they even see it happen?
This is how I feel every holiday, when we have to go to four Christmases, two thanksgivings, three Easters. Running back and forth can be exhausting, and sometimes I really start hating the holidays. My ears hurt from the noise, my head hurts from the heat of too many people stuffed into a small room, and my nerves are rubbed raw by too many things going on around me. I just want to cover my head and scream, bury myself in a deep dark hole and never come out again. I'm going to turn into the recluse who never pokes her nose out of her burrow.
Neither one of these is a good way to live. The frantic juggling act or the deep dark hidey-hole are two ends of a wide spectrum. I just can never seem to find the middle, the place where I am comfortable and not overwrought. Some of you don't have this problem, you thrive on the group gatherings, you love being with lots of people. I love people, but large group events are the hardest thing for me to endure.
The holidays can become all about other people, pleasing people, serving people, getting up and going out with people. At the end of it I'm exhausted because I made no time for me. Or else I protect myself from the stress and the holidays become about what I want, and nobody else.
The true joy of the holidays shines out when I find that blance, when I can juggle all the balls smoothly, when I balance my focus between what I need and those around me. This is true in any season, any relationship, but it shows itself more strongly during the holidays. Celebration is about us together, about accomodating you without giving up my integrity or effacing myself. Learning when to say yes, and when to say no, when to reach out and when to let it go.
So I hope that as holiday season closes in and you find yourself pushed and pulled between family and friends, functions and factions, shopping and decorating, you make sure that whatever you do for the holidays strikes a balance. And if you can learn to juggle the holidays, the rest of your life should slowly fall into place as January turns to Februrary and we wait through the long, dark cold for the light of Easter's spring.
I stand in the center ring and run back and forth, catching balls and throwing them in the air again. Does anyone appreciate my crazy dance? Do they even see it happen?
This is how I feel every holiday, when we have to go to four Christmases, two thanksgivings, three Easters. Running back and forth can be exhausting, and sometimes I really start hating the holidays. My ears hurt from the noise, my head hurts from the heat of too many people stuffed into a small room, and my nerves are rubbed raw by too many things going on around me. I just want to cover my head and scream, bury myself in a deep dark hole and never come out again. I'm going to turn into the recluse who never pokes her nose out of her burrow.
Neither one of these is a good way to live. The frantic juggling act or the deep dark hidey-hole are two ends of a wide spectrum. I just can never seem to find the middle, the place where I am comfortable and not overwrought. Some of you don't have this problem, you thrive on the group gatherings, you love being with lots of people. I love people, but large group events are the hardest thing for me to endure.
The holidays can become all about other people, pleasing people, serving people, getting up and going out with people. At the end of it I'm exhausted because I made no time for me. Or else I protect myself from the stress and the holidays become about what I want, and nobody else.
The true joy of the holidays shines out when I find that blance, when I can juggle all the balls smoothly, when I balance my focus between what I need and those around me. This is true in any season, any relationship, but it shows itself more strongly during the holidays. Celebration is about us together, about accomodating you without giving up my integrity or effacing myself. Learning when to say yes, and when to say no, when to reach out and when to let it go.
So I hope that as holiday season closes in and you find yourself pushed and pulled between family and friends, functions and factions, shopping and decorating, you make sure that whatever you do for the holidays strikes a balance. And if you can learn to juggle the holidays, the rest of your life should slowly fall into place as January turns to Februrary and we wait through the long, dark cold for the light of Easter's spring.
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